I found myself wrestling with another blogsite for hours; because I’m using a tablet, several complications arose and I was unable to create a blog. And things were bursting out of my skin, wanting to be on the page.
This last chemo treatment left me feeling 20 years older, disoriented and in a bleak mood. Rashes burst out on my skin and they used some kind of steroid to address the problem.
I only have two treatments left, however it is highly likely that I am in for another round of 12 treatments, assuming the chemo continues to be effective. The 17 tumors in my liver have responded slowly but most assuredly to the germ warfare imposed upon them. My doctor was glowing with hope and proomise upon the last cat scan, just two weeks ago.
Radical submission to God’s willl for my life means that the outcome of all this is none of my business. It means that the relationships in my family outside of myself are also none of my concern. What you think of me is also not within my realm of interest. What is most challenging is a sort of detahment- the desire to fix broken relationships, the earnest longing to heal the pain in others; aall these things are outside the scope of my concern. This is what I wrestle wit: this need to make things right between others. Another word for this is ‘meddling’.
My path is narrow and full of light. May that I seek only to bestow the good I am asked to share, not the good I would impose. May that I not cause confusion, tho my intentions be right. May that my days be full of laughter, love, and kindness.
Patience is the distance a single ray of light travels across the universe to reach our eyes. It is focused, narrow, determined. Unwavering, it seeks not to infuence the path of others.
May I be that ray of light.