A solitary Memory

20121117_192536Why is it we remember some things
and disregard others?

Vapid as an army of clouds,
whole seasons of our lives
glide past us.

We notice nothing.

Then, like the snap of a twig,
our necks spin by the lake.
you know then one,
the glassy one on the property
of the drug rehab.

It happened to me,
but you were there to.
Remember how cold everyone was,
waiting to go to that lame
meeting where people complain
about complaining
until there’s nothing
but a brush fire
in everyone’s throat.

You were there,
by the lake,
waiting.

And then it happened.
It got lodged in memory forever.

My eyes, glassed over, no different
than the surface of the lake,
no different than the drenched clouds:

inwardly – you did too, we both witnessed it –
I screamed, and leaned forward:

“Why am I so lonely?!”

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About Ben Dooling

I began this blog shortly after being diagnosed with terminal rectal cancer. It has since begotten a short book of poems, most of the poems came from here. Cancer has taught me more than it has taken. It has shown me my gifts, and what an examined life is.

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