Oh the nurse, she said I”m dyin;
got but one month left,
and that’s no lyin’.

I said why’d my head feel like a wreckin’ ball;
can barely keep it up, can’t keep it up at all!

And the nurse, she said I’m-a- dyin’
it’s in my spinal cord’
and got the muscle there no more.

I’m like a walkin’ battlin’ ram
but still i’m tryin!

to lift this head
and look you in the eye
but my muscles just ain’t there
I tell you that at ain’t no lie-

‘cuz the doctor said as i’m sighin’-
can’t look you in the eye but i’m-a-tryin-
i’d have the dignity if could just do that
but instead I push on slow like a big fat cat.

and I’m tryin…. she says… she says….
I’d have some dignity if I could look you in the eye
but the carpet will have to do, and baby that’s no lie…..

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About Ben Dooling

I began this blog shortly after being diagnosed with terminal rectal cancer. It has since begotten a short book of poems, most of the poems came from here. Cancer has taught me more than it has taken. It has shown me my gifts, and what an examined life is.

7 thoughts on “OH, THE NURSE, SHE SAID

  1. Ben, buddy. You’re in my thoughts. Have been for a long time. Wanted you to know that you left your mark on this world. I will miss your humor, poetry, and keen eye for photography. God’s speed.

  2. Ben, you have been in my thoughts constantly. I just want you to know that every time I have ever thought about you for the past several years, a smile comes to my face as random things from our childhood come to mind, especially the good times and silly antics at my parents house and our hotly contested whiffle ball games at Carr School where you displayed your unhittable tailing fastball. You made a profound and positive impact on me and those around you. I love you my old friend.

  3. Ben,
    You fought a good fight and I’m so sorry of your passing. I take comfort knowing you are among the angels above me. You always had a great sense of humor (Craft Street days). Rachel always kept me informed of your funny antics over the years and she had such great stories to tell and even a few over the last few months. xoxo Karen
    P.S. I will take good care of Rachel

  4. RIP Ben…gone too soon. I find peace in discovering that you had God in your life and knew where you were headed when the journey here was done. I just wish that we’d connected instead of letting 21 years pass by.

    – Russell

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