Thoughts come and go,
clouds across a backdrop of blue.
so are my fleeting thoughts,
even, this poem, from me to you.
it’s when i attach myself to them
and the angry things they say
that my life takes a dark turn
and things don’t go my way.
Oh, dear God, release me from my thinking
and take me to the clear blue sky.
For these clouds that come and go
cause pain and make me cry.
next to a beautiful woman,
i’m sitting at the cafe.
an urgency rises up-
why can’t i have things my way?
why can’t love and pleasure
visit me on my terms
easily as the green flourishes
on the deep forest ferns?
why is it that the things which elude me
are the things I so passionately long for?
has nature itself abandoned me
like dead leaves on a forest floor?
All my life i’ve wrestled with the world around me
seeking to gain love and support.
and self pity rises up-
a dark tide, rocky no, ships at port.
Self pity is the most selfish thing
enraptured by one’s wishes and fears-
may god guide to service and harmony
and save me from selfish tears.