Standing by the sea,

I’d hear the wind

blow into itself

like a perfectly

wrapped gift.

 

Things would come so easily

to other kids who weren’t like me

and treated life

the way life treated them.

 

A certain current would

flow through their lives

while I stood alone,

behind a wall of ice

the ships off the shore-

well, who knows where

they’re goin’.

 

The college degrees,

the flashy romances,

kept their distance from me

despite my advances.

 

And the wind

seemed to know

more about

where to go

than I did.

 

I’d end up alone

on a tiny throne

in front of a t.v.

but what it’s showin’

can’t fix what I got.

 

I knew I was bright

with lofty ideas

but I wasn’t like the wind-

oh, where am I goin’?

 

My life became

an unkempt room

stuffed with sleep

I’d sleep til noon-

 

Dreams of cocaine

and the slow sad flow

of blood in my veins —

a one-colored

rainbow.

 

I envy the wind.

I envy the wind.

 

But I

am a pair of

untied shoes

bearing bad news

with each step.

 

I remember that gift

I felt as a child-

the wind blowing

into itself, so wild.

But at least…

it knows where it’s goin’.

 

Oh who, please tell me,

who can untie the wind?

some sucker like me,

who’s full of sin?

I just

wanna know…..

oh how to be guided.

 

So if I die

or if I live

at least I’ll know

how to give

and when.

 

so breeze,

so spirit,

so the almighty sky,

I submit to your orchestra

and here’s the reason why-

 

I’ve always been

a step behind

with nothing here

to lead this blind

man’s walkin’.

 

So on my knees

in  candlelight,

I whisper to you God,

I whisper to you Christ,

to take me.

 

Enfold me in

the winds of your love,

and do with me

as you would the wind.